ChildrenSecond Wedding

If it’s not your first time tying the knot, you may ask proper etiquette for the second marriage.
What can you do again?
What should you do differently?
And what just totally doesn’t fly?
Wedding experts answer some of the biggest questions.

Whether it’s your first wedding and your partner’s second, vice versa, or you’ve both been down the aisle before, if one of you has previously tied the knot, there are definitely a few details that aren’t as cut and dry as they are the first time around.

Is it alright to have a big wedding?
It depends! If you both had larger weddings that were less than five years ago, it might not be appropriate to have a another large wedding.
If it is one first wedding, then it might be OK.
You should choose how big or formal your second wedding might be. One thing to be sensitive to is if there are children from the previous marriage. If they're young or may be uncomfortable in a large wedding setting, this might be something to take into consideration.

Can we have a religious ceremony?
You should decide together as a couple and with your clergy person. Every religion is different in terms of what is considered respectful and acceptable for second marriages. Some faiths may be opposed to having a religious ceremony for your second marriage—and may not allow you to hold the wedding in a house of worship.

Can the bride wear white?
Yes.. It is her wedding day, and if a bride wants to wear white, she should be able to wear whatever she'd like.

Can we have a wedding shower or bachelor/bachelorette parties?
If it is the bride's first wedding, you can have a shower or a bachelorette party. If it is the bride's second wedding, in theory she would already have many of the things ‘needed’ for starting adult life in your own home, such as pots and pans, etc. Many couples may choose to get new housewares to reflect the new relationship. Check with friends and family on this question. Recommendation; keep the guest list on the smaller side.
Some friends may opt to not buy a second shower gift and may skip the wedding present, too. If they were there for the first wedding, and that is 100% okay.

Should we invite our exes and their families? In which instances?
Generally.. no. If situations are such that you are still very friendly and close with your former spouse and/or his or her family members, it may be OK.
If your second marriage is after the death of your previous spouse, you may want to invite your deceased spouse’s family is a very nice gesture.
Consider that it might be a hard situation for them, and that they may not attend.
Your new spouces feelings come firt. For most, the answer here would be no.

How Real Brides Involved Their Children in the Wedding Ceremony
Second marraiges happen at all life stages. Couples may well already be parents.
This changes the wedding ceremony slightly. It is a declaration of love between two people and the wedding ceremony can become a family celebration.
The wedding day can be a contract between the entire new family unit. Children are as much a part of the marriage commitment as the bride and groom.

Can we have a registry?
Yes. Even if you do not want gifts, some family or friends may want to buy you something.
Focus on things you really need and want.
Skip the basics like bakeware or pots and pans. Use this as a time to select something new.
Choose an alternative registry or suggest ‘group gifting’ with stores Home Depot.
Maybe you would love gear for your camping honeymoon, so think outside the big box stores!

We don’t need anything for our home—can we ask for money instead?
Never ask for money. Some couples may only want to receive money, so get this message out word of mouth.

Are there any wedding traditions we should skip?
This is totally up to the couple. Some traditions might be really important, like toasts and a first dance. If some feel trite, like a bouquet or garter toss, pass on them. Include those that have meaning to both of you.